Friday, November 19, 2004

My Adventures in Allergy Town

First off, thank you to everyone for your well wishes on my allergies. I have to say, I have a brighter outlook on it. No longer do I feel there's nothing that can be done. No longer do I feel that breathing through my nose is an impossibility. Granted, breathing through my nose is still a distant memory of the past, but I feel it may yet be part of my future. And it's a glorious future, full of tissue-free days, breathable nights and frollicing in meadows. So maybe not the frollicing part, but you get my point. I won't be a mouth-breather anymore and you have no idea how happy that makes me!

I went to the allergist today for my consultation. Not only did I find hope in not having to suffer through allergies, but I also found fellow knitters. If I wasn't involved in knitting I'd probably think it was an epidemic. Hell, make that a pandemic! I was sitting in the waiting room..... waiting (duh) when the nurse called me in. The first thing out of her mouth was "you're a knitter!" I must say, she was very excited. That's a nice change from those who say "you're a knitter, isn't that granny?" or similar idiotic phrases. What struck me as funny was we talked more about knitting than we did about my allergies. It's a good thing the doctor who evaluated me couldn't have cared less about the state of my knitting or I may be no further in ridding myself of this curse.

After the nurse took a look through my pattern book, then the finished pieces of my sweater and then the sweater I was wearing which I happen to have made (I was asked in a comment if I wear my sweaters often and the answer is yes, every day that's cold enough) she left me to myself until the doctor arrived.

Thus began my consultation. First came 20 questions. 20 very hard to understand questions from a man who originated from difficulttounderstandsville and had the bushiest eyebrows I've ever seen. Ok, so maybe he actually originated from some eastern european nation but he would definitely benefit from a pair of scissors strategically used over those caterpillars he calls eyebrows.

Once that was over I was handed what basically amounts to a very large piece of paper which was supposed to double as a "gown". Whoever thought of these must be laughing at this point. Fannies across the nation are hanging out because the proper use of these
monstrosities requires you to put them on with the opening in back. Many a joke has been made in movies and television shows alluding to this fact and now I have become part of that joke by the sheer fact that I was wearing one.

On to the physical examination! This basically consisted of the checking of breathing, reflexes and my nose & throat. Apparently I have sluggish reflexes because it took him a couple of tries before my knee finally jerked. Personally I don't think he was hitting the right spot but that seems to be a common problem among men. Ok, get those minds out of the gutter! Then came the checking of the nose and throat. I already know this would not be a profession I would do well in. The thought of looking up someones nose just doesn't appeal to me. Especially noses that are malfunctioning and working overtime to produce some of the nasties stuff mankind has ever come across. Nope, it's certainly not for me.

Thus concluded my consultation. I was given samples of some sort of nose spray. My basic thought is I'm trying to stop things from coming out of my nose, putting stuff up there seems counterproductive to me, but they're the experts. Once I shed myself of the paper tent and re-dressed I headed out to the front desk only to be bombared by nurses who wanted to see my knitting. Apparently the nurse I first met was not the only knitter. I felt somewhat like a celebrity...... a very minor, z-list celebrity, but that just made my visit that much better.

I'm due back in a couple of weeks for the (insert scary music here) skin test so hopefully we can identify the culprit. Till then, I will be knitting and enjoying my Thanksgiving break, which as I mentioned before is only a week (less than actually) away!


Knittens said...

Thanks for sharing the story! As aweful as visits to the doctor tend to be, your story was very witty :) It actually cheered me up! Especially the catipillar thing lol...

I love your new banner and buttons!

um said...

you know, i had one of those nasal sprays a few years ago, and it was lilac scented. what's the deal there? at any rate, i hope what he gave you is the beginning of some relief for you, and i'm glad things seem rosier (but not rose-scented, just in case you're allergic to flowers!) to you.

i'm with knittens, this visit was a hoot - i loved the doc's description!

oh, also, my son had the skin test done a few months ago, and it was pain-free. it was just these little scratches with numbers written next to them all over his back. it was actually kind of interesting - you might want to bring a mirror so you can see yours being done. or maybe just bring the knitting along instead!

Kimberly said...

I have horrible allergies. The doctor I started seeing seemed to lack interpersonal skills. I've been surviving my allergies with Benadryl and tissues but could definitely use something more to help me cope.

Your allergist sounds great. It will probably get easier to undestand him after seeing him a few times...either that or you'll have to check with the nurses!

Lisa said...

I hope your allergies aren't from your pets! Hopefully they'll be able to give you something that will make things better. Your story was great, especially the part about the paper gown and being a "celebrity" in the doctor's office. :)